


shadows settle on the place that you left

by mysterytwin



Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Jim has angst, Post-Canon, The Power of Friendship™, and ptsd, he deserves it, let the poor boy rest please, so here, this show makes me so emotional, why does no one talk about aaarrrgghh's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 16:30:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9244316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterytwin/pseuds/mysterytwin
Summary: Jim comes back from the Dark Lands with scars — both physically and mentally — but he’ll do it all again if it means protecting his family.





	

Some nights are better than others.

On other nights, he’ll wake up screaming and gasping for air. He’ll find himself in his room, safe from trolls, safe from changelings — safe from Gunmar. He’s safe.

His bruises line up from his hands along his arms and towards his back. Scars that will take a long time to heal mark themselves across his stomach and some place themselves on his face. It aches to do basic things sometimes, and it just sucks a bit that he won’t be able to cook much for a while. Not until the pain stops.

Jim stares at the ceiling, collapsing back on his bed. His fingers tremble as he tries to forget. It’s hard; it’s not easy to forget defeating the most evil guy out there. Gunmar had put up a very strong fight, but Jim had given him an even stronger one.

Now that Enrique is safe in the Nuñez house, like all the other changelings he’d manage to rescue, he feels like he can sleep. But he doesn’t. It’s harder than before; it’s easier to lie awake and pretend none of it ever happened.

His fingers almost clasped death’s hand too many times to count, but a part of him is glad he’s still breathing. He told his mother everything after he’d gotten back — she deserved to know. She knew once and handled it, and she did it again. She’s worried about him all the time now, but it’s easier than having to lie to her just to get through the day.

Toby had squeezed him in a tight hug and refused to let go for a long time once he’d come back. It hurt his bones, but he returned the hug anyway. He thought he’d never see the smile on his best friend’s face again. But there he was.

Claire, she had hugged him, too. She made sure he was okay and asked him a ton of questions. It was tough, replaying the whole thing again and putting it into words, but the sight of her smiling at Enrique made Jim realize that it was all worth it.

Blinky cried and hugged him, telling him how proud and sorry he was for letting Jim go through all of this alone, that he should’ve done better to protect him. Jim told him that it wasn’t his fault. It never was.

The rest of the trolls had given him a feast in celebration, and although he never had a great liking to troll food, he hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days and ate until he felt like exploding. It felt good to be back in Troll Market, to see the lights again when he’d gotten used to seeing all the darkness.

The aftermath was both good and bad. And on good nights, he’d remember the smiles and hugs he’d received and sleep without a bump. Better nights were what he looked forward to. His friends were what kept him going.

And it’s not going to stop now.

 

* * *

 

The first day back at school raises some questions. Jim had been absent for days, and it made teachers wonder what happened to him. And not to mention all the tests he missed. Not a good thing.

Luckily for him, he has Toby to give support and Claire to teach him on what he’d missed. It isn’t too bad. He gets through it, even getting A’s in some of the tests. Just some.

Steve gives him less hell than usual, which is good. He doesn’t know what he would do to the guy, anyway.

Strickler is no longer a teacher or a principal, and the teachers say that he’s going on vacation. But Jim knows the truth: he’s stuck in his troll form for the rest of his life, now that Jim had saved his familiar and brought him back. He feels a bit bad about it, but what else was he supposed to do?

He’s glad that his jacket is there to cover up the scars on his arms. He’d rather not have anyone looking and asking questions. That would be horrible.

A week later, Toby is sitting on his bed as Jim catches up on some homework. It’s quiet for most of the time, except for the occasional crunching of chips on his best friend’s part. It’s good.

“Are you okay?”

Jim turns around to face him, eyebrows raised. “Tobes, I’m fine. I’m alive.”

Toby looks unsettled, biting his lip. “Look, Jim, I don’t ever mean to stare or anything, but you live directly in front of me and you’re my best friend, but—”

“Toby.”

“—I just get worried sometimes, you know? I wake up at night, too, and I look out the window, and I see you sitting on your bed, just staring ahead. You do this for hours, man. I would know—”

“Toby.”

“—and I just want to know if you’re really okay. You space out a lot, dude. I know it was traumatic and you probably get nightmares about it, but I hear you screaming. _Screaming._ Jim,” he breathes, “are you okay? Really okay?”

“Yes,” he answers with a smile. “I am.”

Toby doesn’t seem convinced. “On a scale of one to ten, how okay are you? Ten being ready to eat tacos any time and any place, and one being not able to eat tacos at all.”

Jim wonders what to say. Nine? He feels okay, excluding the nightmares and the midnight screams. So maybe seven, but it hurts to do anything sometimes, and that could lead to a four. But he doesn’t want Toby to be so worried. He can’t let his best friend go through that. Not again.

“And please,” Toby adds, “be honest.”

Jim takes a deep breath. “Six.”

His friend nods. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

The Trollhunter smiles. “Yeah, actually. I was wondering if you understood what we were learning in algebra because I don’t get a single question.”

Toby stands up and walks up to him, cracking his knuckles. “You’re in luck, Jimbo, because I got this.”

Jim grins for the first time in what feels like forever.

 

* * *

 

His first fight outside of the Dark Lands leaves him wounded and in pain. His sides ache with each blow the unidentified creature throws at him. He’s never felt weaker.

Blinky had warned him that he wasn’t ready, that he was too weak, and that he couldn’t fight yet. But did Jim listen? No. He’s the Trollhunter, this is his job.

If only it wasn’t so hard.

He aims for the creature’s weak spot, a small opening beneath all the scales. It howls in pain and turns to stone. Jim punches it.

His knees buckle in exhaustion and he falls to the ground, breathing fast and shutting his eyes. Sweat drips down on his forehead, new cuts on his cheeks bleeding without end.

Blinky places one of his hands on his shoulders. “Master Jim, are you alright?”

Jim can’t speak. He can’t open his mouth. His heart hammers in his chest, and his eyes flutter open — but all he can see are glowing red eyes.

He screams.

Blinky wraps him in a hug, frantically placing all four arms around him. “Master Jim, there is no need to fear. You are safe. You are alright. You are here.”

He calms down after a moment, breathing deeply. He counts, one, two, three. With each breath, his heart slows down and the glowing eyes disappear.

He looks at Blinky and sees the worry in his eyes. This is his fault. He’s making them worry about him, he’s putting them through pain all because they care about him — and it makes him feel really guilty to know that it’s all his fault.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”

“It is not your fault,” the troll replies. “It will never be. You saved us all. You are the Trollhunter.”

“But we lost Aaarrrgghh—”

“There is nothing you could have done,” Blinky says as his voice softens at the name of their fallen friend. “And none of this is your fault. Please do not feel guilty.”

Jim nods. He doesn’t feel any less guilty, but he does feel a little better. “Thanks, Blinky.”

“You’re welcome, Master Jim,” he says as he gives Jim a hand and helps him back on his feet. “I believe it is time for you to go home and rest.”

Jim waves goodbye as he gets on his bike. Blinky smiles, but there’s still worry in his eyes. The boy bikes away and off into the night.

 

* * *

 

“Jim, you’re spacing out again,” Claire says with a worried glance. “Jim?”

“Huh?” he asks as he blinks once, twice, thrice. “Right. Spacing out. Uh, sorry.”

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course I’m okay!” Jim snaps.

Claire lets out a small yelp. “Jim, you’re hurting my arm.”

He freezes, staring at the girl in front of him. He loosens his grip on her arm and takes it back. Jim runs a hand through his hair, frustrated.

“Claire, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I was just—”

She places a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. I understand. I guess I just forgot how strong you could be.”

Jim doesn’t look at her.

“Blinky says you’re training too hard when there’s nothing else to train _for_. It’s over, Jim. Arcadia is safe, thanks to you. Enrique is safe, and I can’t thank you enough that. We’re all going to be fine,” she tells him softly. “But are you?”

“I just…I still see his eyes,” Jim murmurs. “I feel like I’m still there, like I still have Enrique in my arms and he’s crying. I feel like the sword is still in my hands. I feel like I’m trapped there.”

“But you’re not,” she says. “You’re here. With me. And I’m never letting you go back there alone. Ever. I promise.”

She squeezes his hand reassuringly and smiles. “You’re going to be okay. You’re not alone anymore.”

He smiles, but he still feels the same weight on his shoulders. There are some things he needs to do alone in order to protect his friends — his family.

And he’ll do whatever it takes.

 

* * *

 

It takes a full month before Jim can cook for his mom without feeling the ache in his hands. It feels better this way.

When he settles the plates on the table, each one filled with one of his mother’s favorite foods, Jim smiles at the proud look on his mother’s face. It’s enough for him to know that he’s getting better.

“You’re the best son a mother could ever ask for, you know that, right?” Barbara says as she leans over and takes his hand. “I know I haven’t been there much for you, and I’ve been extremely oblivious to your whole second life, but I just want you to know that I love you. And not even monsters or trolls can take away my love for you.”

“I love you, too, Mom,” he says.

“And it’s been rough, I know, coming back from the bad lands—”

“Dark Lands,” he corrects as he flinches at the mention.

She nods. “I still want to protect you, Jim. Do you know how scared I was when you were gone? Even Tobias avoided me when I asked. Claire, too. They both looked so worried and _I_ was so worried. Please, if you can, don’t ever do that again. I can’t lose you.”

Jim nods slowly. “I’ll try my best.”

Barbara looks at the food. “You know, I’ve always wondered where you got your cooking skills. You’re amazing at it, Jim!”

“You’re not too bad, either, Mom.”

It’s a half-truth, but it earns a grateful smile from his mother, so he doesn’t feel too bad.

He just wants her to be happy.

 

* * *

 

The lights of Arcadia are beautiful before him, illuminating the night sky above him. The wind blows softly in his hair, crickets chirping in the distance.

Jim sits alone on the bench, staring at the scene before him. This is his home. And he’ll protect it no matter the cost.

Fighting Gunmar proved to be the hardest thing he’s ever done, but he’ll do it again if it means protecting his family. He’s not sure how people and trolls of different backgrounds and lives can come together and build a family, but it worked. He won’t let anything take that away from him.

He may not be okay yet, who knows when he’ll get better, but he will get there. He has to.

He’s the Trollhunter, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu at superishs.tumblr.com!!


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